Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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