which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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