She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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