using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
