It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
