this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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