but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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