Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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