Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
