If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just want nice things and good sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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