u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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