I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
