saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
