It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
