why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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