So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
