I just cut my nipple shaving
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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