Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
