I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
