okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
