So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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