definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My ass is underappreciated
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
