the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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