To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
