Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
