How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
