Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
