Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
