Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to jail i love you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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