I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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