Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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