We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
