My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
