I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
