I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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