well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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