You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
