doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
