I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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