he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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