I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
