We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize