So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
