Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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