it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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