have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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