I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need water and some morals
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
