well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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