Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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