We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
