getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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