I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
