you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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