i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
