can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
