I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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