just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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