I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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