I'm really into asian looking animals
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
