im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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