I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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