Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
