you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm at about main and main street
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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