I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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