well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Panties = found
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
